to me, being drunk is a loss of control. something i can’t deal with very well. i must have control over everything controllable in my life. even if i’m bad at it, i still have to be in control. i don’t know where this comes from..but it’s something i hope to overcome..or learn to control if you will.

on the other hand, this is the second time in 2 weeks i’ve been out drinking…i’m not usually a frequent drinker..does this have anything to do with mania..?