i finally landed an appointment with a new psychiatrist. and of course i did some research on the guy.  i wasn’t able to find any reviews regarding psychiatry, but he is very active politically regarding health care.  i’m not a fan of politics, so i’m really hoping he keeps that separate from our sessions.  my appointment is monday and i was thinking of making a list of things i wanted to discuss with him. but i don’t know if this is the time to do it.  i mean, i know some things will be discussed but i’m not sure how much into detail i should go on the first visit.  from what i understand he also deals with inpatient people, and i don’t want to be one of them. i’m also hoping him being only 4 years older than me d0esn’t get in the way.

my surgery is coming up real soon, and i’m still a mess. i’m really worried that i may not go. the anxiety of being able to hear whats going on….and being coherent really scares the shit out of me.  i know i need the surgery, and that it will all be over within a matter of minutes..but that’s not enough..i DON’T want to know what’s going on. not even a little.

i’ve also noticed some really annoying (i’m going to  call them habits for now). of course researching things is one of them..but i’ve also been counting my steps..