» mania

out with the old..

Andrea — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:59:36 +0000

so i met with the pdoc..and he explained that he was going to create a treatment plan for my doc to follow..did an evaluation and gave me a dx. He thinks it’s a good idea for me to jump on the lithium train. so per instructions the seroquel and the cymbalta have been stopped and i’ve started the lithium. the first five or six days were rough. my body doesn’t like these changes. be it withdrawal or adjustment it feels pretty crappy so far.

i phoned the pdoc to be sure that what i was feeling was ok..and i’m still waiting for a call back. i see my gp on friday, so i’ll talk to her about it as well. i’m really concerned and confused at the same time..because the withdrawal symptoms for seroquel and cymbalta are very similar to lithium toxicity. i’m pretty sure that’s not the case, as i’m still at a very very low dose. blood has been drawn and i haven’t got that call telling me to stop..so yeah.

i found out today that all of my disability stuff has been gone about the wrong way, and now my pay is going to be delayed even more. it’s likely i’ll be back to work before i see any money.

i went out to meet a friend today and was feeling freakishly paro. the man sitting across from me on the subway was staring me down..and the train was stuck in between stations..i thought he was going to mug me..and take my pot, or something else scary. i started to get scared and anxious. so i sat there watching him out of the corner of my eye until he finally left. but i couldn’t shake the feeling..it was killing me. i felt like if i didn’t get home soon i was going to freak out and have to call a cab instead..

i’ve been trying to come up with words to describe how i’ve been feeling lately..and i guess the best way to describe it is outside looking in..on myself.

i completely over did it..AGAIN.

Andrea — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 07:42:27 +0000

to me, being drunk is a loss of control. something i can’t deal with very well. i must have control over everything controllable in my life. even if i’m bad at it, i still have to be in control. i don’t know where this comes from..but it’s something i hope to overcome..or learn to control if you will.

on the other hand, this is the second time in 2 weeks i’ve been out drinking…i’m not usually a frequent drinker..does this have anything to do with mania..?

i feel it coming…

Andrea — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:34:56 +0000

i’ve been feeling like i’m going to crawl out of my skin lately. today i attempted to dance to my very own version of “it’s getting hot in here”…completely inappropriate in a Starbucks full of mommies with strollers. at first i thought it may have been my caffeine intake..so i cut that in half two weeks ago. yet the euphoric mood is still growing.

i bought purple hair dye today…how in the heck i thought i would be able to dye my hair purple is beyond me..i don’t think that qualifies for a “natural hair colour”. whoops.

i’ve also become obssesed with the crazy boards..not posting..but reading. i still don’t have the balls to post anything. i’m not sure how to verbalize exactly what i want to say without coming off…extremely sarcastic.

Protected: what..?

Andrea — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 22:19:07 +0000